Ideas and beliefs we hold about ourselves (Schemas)

Here is an introduction to the concept of Schemas, the ideas and beliefs we develop about ourselves.

Schemas

A combination of nature (for example, temperament, personality, abilities and intellect) and nurture (life situation and experiences) shape the ideas, beliefs and feelings a person holds about themselves, others and the world around. Schemas become a lens and filter through which a person makes sense of their life experiences.

Sometimes, if a person experiences a difficult and/or poor fit between themselves and the places, people and activities they are involved in, unhelpful beliefs about themselves, others and the world can form. Beliefs and ideas can also develop when there have been experience of mistreatment, neglect and abuse.

These beliefs and ideas can be long lasting and may at times cause difficulties in life as they can lead to person feeling a range of unwanted emotions lots of time when with others and on their own. Beliefs and ideas may have initially developed to keep the person safe and protected, but can then remain when their life circumstances have changed for the better.

Reflecting on the underlying ideas and beliefs that can be quickly triggered within you in daily life can be a useful activity. Increasing awareness of these patterns of feeling and reacting can be the first step to positive change.

One way of starting this activity of self-reflection is to consider if you frequently experience any of the following beliefs:

Idea and belief (Schema)	Description	Yes / No
Abandonment	Often feeling lonely due to being neglected by others / believing there are no real friends or stable people for you to connect with.
Mistrust	Often feeling that connecting with others is dangerous due to the risk of being mistreated or exploited.
Defectiveness	Often feeling so different or incompetent that no one will ever love you.
Alienation	Often feeling so different that no one will ever understand you or accept you.
Incompetence	Often feeling that you will not be able to make your own decisions.
Failure	Often feeling afraid to fail as it will prove that others are better than you.
Emotional inhibition	Often feeling that is not acceptable to show any emotions or behave in irrational ways.
Unrelenting standards	Often feeling that the only way to accepted and valued is to achieve things.

How we cope with our beliefs

All of the ideas and beliefs outlined above may lead to different reactions in different people. The way people respond and cope when these ideas and beliefs are triggered in life can be thought about as coping styles.

Three coping styles are worth considering when thinking about your own ways of reacting and behaving. The first is overcompensation and refers to behaving in the opposite way to the core idea or belief, for example, a person who has longstanding ideas and fears regarding failure may strive excessively for perfection and push themselves to complete difficult tasks and pursuits. This can lead to positive experiences but can also trigger ‘crashes in confidence’ and ‘burnout’ as the experience of success and achievement leads to a feeling of relief of avoiding failure as opposed to positive emotions like to the achievements.

Another coping style is avoidance. This describes behaving in ways that reduces the chances of ideas or belief being triggered by not putting yourself in life situations related to them. Avoidance can also cover coping behaviours that increase a sense of emotional numbing through detachment and distraction. A person who has ideas and fears about abandonment may notice themselves rejecting others by avoiding situations and activities people that are interested in forming more in-depth relationships with them.

The third coping style is surrender. This refers to living as if the ideas and beliefs held are completely true all the time. For example, a person who believes that it is not acceptable to show any emotions or behave in irrational ways, may make constant efforts to behave in serious and overly controlled manners.

What can I try in my own life

If you notice that certain beliefs are being triggered somewhat unhelpfully and coping reactions are becoming habitual in situations where you feel they are not really needed any more, you might want to consider making a change.

An action to try is to reflect on 1) any underlying beliefs, 2) considering what situations seem to trigger the beliefs and led to strong reactions and feelings, and 3) Review what you tend to do in these situations in the moment and days that follow. The diagram below can be used to help with this.

The part of the diagram in blue represents the possibility for positive change, specifically built on the understanding and awareness of no longer helpful or accurate patterns of thinking and reacting. You may be able to independently try out new options in how to respond to situations. For some people it can be helpful to talk with a clinical psychologist to develop new possibilities and patterns of thinking, feeling and responding. Consultations and sessions with Dr Duncan Harris through the contact form.